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18 Ziemassvētku jociņi, ar ko padalīties ģimenei (:
/ENG/

1. What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?
Snowballs.

2. What do a train set and your wife’s breasts have in common?
They were both made for kids but you can’t help playing with them.

3. How does Santa practice safe sex?
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.

4. What do three ho’s get you?
One very jolly Santa.

5. Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.

6. How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?
You do a bunch of work and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.

7. Why do elves laugh when they run?
Because the snow tickles their balls.

8. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.

9. What does The Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.

10. What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.

11. What’s the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning?
When they get a sweater, but they’re hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

12. Why did the Snowman want a divorce?
Because his wife was a total flake.

13. Why did the Grinch hit up the liquor store?
He was desperate for some holiday spirit.

14. One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Claus wrote him back, “OK, please send me your mother.”

15. What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

16. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.

17. I love this time of year.
You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

18. Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…
Can I visit between the holidays?